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Or would it be better to take a chance, possibly screw everything up, and tell the person?
( Proceed. )
- i feel:
Blargh.
How do I get out of my box, though, you ask? Working for the band and thanking every United States Military person I find, because I promised my father I would. Really. That's about it.
With the new-fangled internetz, you would think I could be more forward through that. Hiding behind the screen and all. (I'd still have to see that person eventually...) Or even through texts. Nope, still shy either way. (And I bet by now you are starting to believe I actually am a mess.) You would think I learned my less when Jared died. Obviously not. Speaking of Jared... July 2nd... It will be a year. Whoa. But really, had I called him when I originally wanted to, instead of being, well, me, maybe I would've gotten to talk to him one last time. I'll never know now.
Should.
Coulda.
Woulda.
I'm kicking myself even now. Here I am again, making the same mistake all over again. The circumstances are different, of course. But I'm still not talking, and that's the problem.
I really wonder why I have to be so stupid sometimes.
- i'm at:Home.
- i feel:
BLARGH. - i'm listening to:"Careful" - Paramore; "Take This To Heart" - Mayday Parade
Good things:
- I've been going places with the band. (Hell, just being with the band makes things better.)
- I'm out of school.
- I've found someone totally awesome who understands me, who is extraordinary, and just all-around amazing. (But they don't know it.)
- I've figured out who my real friends are and pretty much shed the ones who aren't.
Bad things I guess are:
- Mom won't let me learn how to drive/get a permit
- Mom won't let me get a job (I also can't because I'm needed [as I'm told] for band stuff)
- I'm stressing over someone finding out something that... Well, they don't need to find out?
There's more, but off the top of my head, only those come to mind.
( Read the rest, if you so choose... )
I'm a mess, I know. I'm trying to be better. Now I'm done my confusing rant that probably makes no sense.
- i'm at:Home.
- i feel: Larrrr.
- i'm listening to:"Five More Minutes" - Tyler James and the Exchange
Like a book I've read a million times,
But the story line is a bit blurred,
The characters new
The setting changed,
Yet everything is strangely the same
This is comfortable
It shouldn't be
This makes sense
But it doesn't
All these complexities mesh together
To form a mangled web of perfection.
I'm a shambles, I'm a mess.
I'm getting to the point where I'm considering to cut all my ties.
But I need you.
Oh, how I need you.
I'm getting to the point where I'm considering to cut all my ties.
But I need you.
Oh, how I need you.
weakness.
So. Howdy. I have a lot to say. Like whoa.
The plumbing broke back in February. Since then I have been vaccuuming up water with a shop vac and bumming showers wherever I can. So not fun at all. And Mom can't afford to get it fixed, so we're stuck with this. Faaaaail.
I've been working with my brother, Tyler on the computer a lot. It's been fun! We sing and stuff and we're a bunch of goofiness. But it's all good because it means we get to hang out. Which means I get to see him more, yay!
The Olympics were amazing. I had such a good time watching Johnny Weir and Apolo Ohno and all the other events and such as well. I miss them greatly. Terry is the only one who understands my Olympic addiction, because he's addicted to the Olympics as well. I always had a fun time talking to him about them.
On March 10 (going into March 11th) I had the best time of my life so far. I wetto Philly to see a show called Language Rooms, which was amazing. I got to see Crissy! And I looked fabulous make up wise. Then I went to the Melrose diner for the first time ever. It was sauceome. I had a waffle with ice cream and it was delicious.
AFTER the diner came the best part. I got to see Cyn for the first time in 10 years! That in itself was amazing. She even let me pick two of her comics to keep and a newspaper that her comic was in and gave me a book and art supplies and a bunch of other chizz. It was amazing. I mean I had such a goodtime just talking to her for two or so hours. I'll probably be spending time with her this summer if I'm not working with Tyler. And that brings me to my next story.
Tyler just told me today that I'm goin to be working the sound system at the shows and such. I'm freaking out because I have no clue whatsoever how to! And y'all know me and not retaining any information whatsoever. So on top of sealcoating, I have to figure out how to work a soundsystem and such aaand find time to hang out with people. This should be fun considering they're having a show practically every weekend. V_V this is going to be one busy summer.
Oh and I'm trying to start a comic. How to do so without stealing other peoples designs? It should be fin coming up with them. -sigh- well. I'm off. I have letters to write, sound systems to learn, and a comi to come up with. Love<3
Do we really exist outside of the Internet?
Think about it. Most of the bullying that happens online happens because it's online. No one can see you, so you think you can be outrageous. People are more malicious online. You know that most of the people who say those terrible things aren't that confident away from their computer. The Internet is a dark cloud that disguises us all. Online we can be a totally different person and no one would know. A lot of people are. The majority of us are more confident behind the shield of our computer screens. What makes us feel like we can be so cruel to someone just because neither of us can be seen? That's cowardice.
I don't mean that you should be mean to people in real life, but if you can't do it face to face, why do it with your face hidden behind a monitor?
/endrant
Yeah, so, I've been grounded from the computer for a while. Why, you ask? Well, I won't tell you. I will tell you why I lost computer privileges, though. Because Mommabear knows that's the only thing she can take away from me that will really hurt. A lot.
I missed you guys<3 Wait until you hear about Halloween. Whoaaa.
Daniel isn't able to come down to Jersey. I was really looking forward to that. Oh well..
I also might not be able to go to California because I have no money. My next-door neighbor apparently isn't needing me anymore. It sucks how they aren't telling me. I call the day I have work and they tell me they don't need me that day. If you don't need me anymore, than please, just tell me straightforward. That was my source of income. Now, I have no way to get money (other than selling artwork I don't have drawn), because I can't get a job.
I don't even know where I'm going to get the money.
And someone isn't talking to me. I guess I should just leave it alone for a while (a /long/ while) and see where it's at then.
Even if you have known that they are leaving, or someday might leave, their absence is still surprising.
On another note, today was the first day of school. It was okay. I hate biology, but that's not surprising. This year, I have an office aide buddy. Trishlyn. She's nice. I miss having office aide all to myself, though. Oh well. Life be-eth that way sometimes. I also lost my homework assignment for English... So, I wrote it on a piece of notebook paper with the hopes that I'll be able to transfer it to a new worksheet in the morning.
I have the lead in my foot still, but the goo I've been putting on it has been helping it come up. Hopefully in a few hours, it'll be poking out enough so that I can tweezer it out.
Tyler took me to youth group tonight. I had a good time. I guess it was because I was with Gavin. When I got home, though, my mom was like "Why did you go to youth group tonight? I thought you didn't want to go to church there anymore." It's the only way I can see Gavin, though. and Tyler, too it seems. He's quite busy becoming famous. Tyler, that is. He has a great band called The Overexposed. If you haven't checked them out, go do so. http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOverexpos
- i'm at:home.
- i feel:
I'm not sure how I feel. - i'm listening to:Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog soundtrack stuck in my head.
Other things are like GRR. I start school in less than 3 days. This year is going to be a pivotal turning point in my life, just like part of last year was. But last year, I wasn't starting school with these things looming over my shoulders.
And people tell me it just gets worse from here.
Oh, how I can't wait for California. A week to escape all of this.
Oh, and I give up on guys; it just fails.
- i feel: I don't even know.
Problem is: I'm strapped for ideas.
I don't know whether I'm going to sell these through Etsy, or LilyMud forums. I just know that I need to get ideas so I can start drawing.. So that I can start selling.
This is where you come in! If you could suggest some things for me to draw, that would be superflyingtacklepounce awesome! So let's get some ideas flowing!
Much love<3<3<3
P.S. So far, I make name tags with your name and a drawing on them. I will post pictures soon.
Heather
- i feel:
stressed
- i feel:
bouncy
But if you want it that way, so be it. Distance helps.
- i feel:
>:/
Mom missed the FedEx Express guy buy two minutes yesterday.
So naturally I'm going to get up early to wait for him. So I can eat him alive.
No, not really. But I did want to make sure I got my iPod.
So Tyler, even though he was sick, bless his soul, called me at 9 o'clock this morning to make sure I was awake.
He's got a sinus infection, and he still called me<3
Okay. Now I have my iPod. Thanks to Daniel.
Love him too.
He had an engraving put on the back.
And it's absolutely adorable.
"Word. Oh Herrow!
Heather Rose Shorter"
We say "Word", or Word up and "Oh herrow!" to each other all the time.
I though that was so cute <3
My iPod is nameless at the moment, and is sitting here playing music to me, without my headphones because it has a built in speaker. Win
But this time, the headphone jack isn't jank. It's perfect :).
- i'm at:Home
- i'm listening to:New Math [live] - Bo Burnham
If only I could rid myself of them and all the ones I have towards people.
I rode: El Toro(1), Bizarro(1), Nitro(1), The Dark Knight(1), and Skull Mountain(37207604794).
Kingda Ka was down, and we didn't ride Batman because it would've hurt Steve and Col. But that's okay <3
I loved Nitro, and the funniest thing happened on that one. We were riding along, and I was screaming as usual. Then Nitro just stops for a second and I start to say "That's it? That's ----". I thought the ride was over. Oh, but it wasn't. Far from over, really. From that moment until the coaster stopped, Col and Steve were dying of laughter because of that and the face I made. (They were sitting on either side of me.) I really wish I could have seen that face; apparently it was freakin' hilarious. Oh, the memories...
Did I mention that I rode Skull Mountain a million times? I didn't? Oh, well, I did. ;)
Skull Mountain is one of the best things ever; absolutely amazing, yet no one can explain why. An indoor roller caoster. I've never heard of that concept before yesterday.
Steve and I were harassing the one girl, and you could just tell how much she "loved" her job. We also RICKROLL'D the coaster, as well. Ride number 4 of this coaster, and we got everyone going. It was a hoot. The whole day was just epic awesomeness, and Col's brother is absolutely adorable, and hilarious.<3
Random quotes from this day...
"Oh, you know.. Asians these days!" -Steve
"Hey, guys... I don't feel so goooooood!" - Steve and Myself
"Guys,... guys! I think I broke my stomach again!" - Me
"I'm Old Greeeeegg!" Col, Steve, and myself
- i feel:
happy
- i feel: jubilant
He graduates May 22nd and will be home for 10 days after that.
I'm so glad I know. =]
- i feel: bouncy
I'm glad I'm getting over Kyle. I was blind to his flaws. I see them now though. Kyle can be extremely rude, and I'm tired of it. I've put up with it for three years because I was just so head-over-heels for him... Plus he said things to me and I wasn't too happy. Friends still, of course. But I just don't "like" him anymore.
(Oh and bowling with Kyle, Heather, Trista, Mrs. Purdon, and Arianna on April 14th was a lot of fun. ^_^)
I learned and actually remembered three chords.
But I still haven't heard from Rich yet. Oh well. Should I just try to forget him and the friendship we had? Or should I actually ask his sister if she's heard from him? I really don't want to, because I don't think I could bear it if her answer was yes.
- i feel: in between
Hey there, magical readers.... Which I think is like 5 people, hahaha.
Anywho. I have a YouTube channel. I've had it for a while. I uploaded a new video the other day of me singing. Please go rate, comment, subscribe, and pass on to everyone you know. I'd like to see what people have to say about it. The link to my channel is below.
http://www.youtube.com/HeathurHurricane
Yeah, so. Go show it love and stuff. I'll love you forever if you do. And if you don't... I'll find you, and have my fleet of battleships attack you. (God, I'm such a geek.)
Well, anyway, you get the point.
- i feel:
artistic
Yeah. Tanner looks like a ten-year-old on crack. Sorry.
Cyn, if you and Tanner promise not to kill me, I'll promise to stop trying to draw the coolest comic ever.
GREAT.
I'm taking it to Macy's tomorrow hopefully.
- i feel:
excited
So who here has seen Twilight? I did, saw it last night. Oh my god, can I go see it again? I loved that movie... But not as much as The Dark Knight, which has nothing to do with Twilight, haha. Great segue, right? There were so many screaming girls (and even a few guys!) in that theater, I thought I was going to
have to get up an shank some people, it was that bad. I mean, seriously. I had a paper clip, it wouldn't have been that hard. Ohkay, it would've been impossible.
Anyway, having read all the books in the saga, and seeing how they have ended the movie, they need to make a "New Moon," the second book in the saga. Unless they made a certain amount of money opening night, they are not making a sequel. I'm pretty sure they made enough money on opening night. If every girl (and guy) who read the series and fell in love with it went to see they movie, they definitely made more that enough to make the sequel.
Edward's sparkly skin was so... *sparkly*! It looked like he had diamonds in his face. I really do see why they live in Forks, Washington (real town), where it's always raining. I think I might take a trip there to see what it looks like someday. Althoguh, I'm not entirely sure I could handle that much rain. If Edward Cullen was a real person; lived there, oh yeah, I'd be there in a second.
I didn't mean to love it back, but I kinda did.
You guys should go see it. It was pretty frickin' awesome.
- i feel:
TWILIGHT HIGH
Ohkay, this is the third time typing this because my browser keeps erasing everything I type >.>
So who here likes The CAB, Plain White T's, Dashboard Confessional, and Panic at the Disco? *raises hand for all*
Last night, one of the best nights ever, I went to a concert for all four of those bands at the Wachovia Spectrum. It was so amazing, it's not even funny. I'm highly surprised that I still have a voice.
Made T-shirts too. They were so snazz-tastic.
Let's cut to the chase. I met Tom Higginson, the lead singer of Plain White T's, shook his hand and took his picture... three of four times. He signed my ticket, the CD I bought there, and a poster for me. That was an event in its self. See, I told the band I bought their CD there because it was $10 cheaper, and they got a kick out of that. And I had them all sign my ticket, because it was printed off the interwebz. When I got to Tom, I asked if I could take his picture, and he said yes. So I got a full on picture of his face. [Those will be posted later, once they are uploaded. They're worth the wait!] But I didn't know they had posters, and I wanted one, so I tried to get back in line, but a Spectrum worker wouldn't let me in line. >.> So, I went back to the beginning of the line where my group was waiting for me, and asked Dave if they'd send me a poster down the line. Three minutes later, I was holding the most amazing poster I have ever received. Why is it the most amazing poster I have ever received?
Because every member of Plain White T's touched and signed it. Uh-huh.
Before meeting them, I was nervous, but could still speak English. During meeting them, I was fine, and could speak English. The second I got back to my seat, I started screaming, and jumping up and down, and was in hysterics. I was speaking some language I didn't even know existed. Not to mention I was shaking so badly I could hardly stand. o.0
The concert its self was great. The way I listed the bands previously is the order they played in. Because The CAB is the newest to the scene [thanks to Panic!], they played first. PATD was the headliner, so they played the longest. Everyone was amazing, although I was disappointed with Dashboard Confessional's performance. They weren't so amazing. On five songs they were, though! Chris Carrabba's voice wasn't doing so good, oh well. And he did not look good in the hat he was wearing, nosir.
When The CAB was playing, they said they'd come out to sign stuff later, but they didn't, or I think we missed it. Oh well, maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get to go to a CAB concert, and get them to sign it there. =D One can hope, right?
Throughout the concert, I took videos of various parts of the concert, but one part, when The CAB was playing, I recorded some of "Risky Business." In that song, when it came to the part "Stop asking/Keep dancin'," we had to sing "Keep dancin'," and I recorded us singing it, and may I just say I am so off-key it isn't even funny? It's ridiculous. But worth it. And no, you can't hear it. >.>
I can't even say how much fun this was. I would do it again in a heart beat.
I think that's all for now, but if I remember anything else, I'll be sure to keep you posted.
And I'm mad the Wachovia Spectrum is being torn down.
PICTURES SOON.
- i feel: hyper
- i feel: bouncy
comment to be added.
Which upsets me. >_> Because we don't have any. Getting some will be difficult, because mother dearest doesn't want to do go anywhere because of the nor'easter we're having.
It's pretty bad out there. I mean, I can't believe it actually snowed today.
So, Kyle finally got his Yearbook pictures. Finally. But I feel like I've really let him down. Well, it's only fair, because I did. Even Sister Brown made a note of that when she was talking to me a week ago. So, I guess people are trying to pile on the guilt?
Yep, they are.
I wrote him a message on LilyMud. It was longish, and it sounds like I'm downing myself, but really, everything I said was one hundred percent true. I failed. FAILED, epically. Go me!
Spiritual Emphasis Week is going well. Kyle played Jesus in this one skit yesterday. Kyle's always Jesus, so I was telling someone that, and they had said "Well then, I guess that he really is Jesus."
Now let's describe the weather. It's snowy and rainy, oh, and may I mention extremely windy? It snowed for like three hours, and actually stuck for one. It's plenty cold outside, I really can't believe it. I mean, it's only the beginning of Autumn. Ohkay, I mean, NOT the beginning, beginning, but near the beginning.
( TYLER BELLINGER READ THIS )
Curtis, Isaac, David, and Tyler sounded amazingly super awesome tonight.
( I loved... )
Overall, it was a GREAT night.
- i'm at:home
- i feel:
drained and full - i'm listening to:music from the restaurant scene in Spiderman 3
